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Everyday Icons - Dysfunctional Family Relief Everyday Icons - Dysfunctional Family Relief

Dysfunctional Family Relief

The Prayer

On my knees, I request your divine intervention in my dealings with my crazy, dysfunctional family. Protect me from surprise visits, and let those who pursue me in R.V.’s be turned back in disgrace. Rise up in my defense during phone calls about my hair, weight or marital status; and shield me from discussions of my sister’s fifth husband or my brother’s prison record. Come to my immediate aid that I may forever pass as orphaned at birth, Amen.

Directions for Use 

Immediately light candle during first minute of call from family. Repeat prayer once for every intrusive question, ethnic slur, or off-color joke. In cases of guilt-trip, repeat prayer continuously and contemplate name change and international move. Good luck!

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$ 16.95

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