Falling on my kneepads, I humbly ask your blessing in providing me with perennial horticultural success. Assure me an abundant harvest while sparing me the creeping intrusion of pesky weeds. Allow me to focus on a vision of the perfect PBS garden as my hands develop blisters from pruning. And in your grace I humbly ask that you prevent smelly compost vapors, provide me unlimited quantities of manure, and banish aphids and slugs to my neighbor’s garden. Amen.
Directions for Use
Place candle on gardening catalog and light. Repeat prayer three times while planting seeds, or continuously while weeding. In extreme cases, water the head of your decorative garden gnome during a full moon. Good luck!
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