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Everyday Icons - Immediate Alien Abduction Everyday Icons - Immediate Alien Abduction

Prayer for Immediate Alien Abduction

The Prayer

Hear me in my urgent plea that I may be IMMEDIATELY abducted by aliens. Banish all my thoughts of the state of the economy, my trailer payments, and any manner of unpleasantness in this life. Free me from all everyday concerns and the gravity that binds me for what promises to be a very interesting FREE trip. And in your great power and grace, ensure I am not booked on Jerry Springer if I am EVER to return. Amen.

Directions for Use 

Light candle outdoors on a starry night. Relax in a folding lawn chair. Repeat prayer once for every beer consumed. Wait. Wait some more. Good luck!

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